"Good grief" charlie brown

Grief is the experience of coping with loss, or the acute pain that accompanies the loss of someone or something that has occupied a space in our lives, our hearts. Why, then, did the term ‘good grief” arise? How might we acquaint grief with something good?

The phrase may have originated as an explanation in a short story by Raymond Chandler in the late 1930’s. It then began to appear in the 1940’s in other writings. However, it began became more common in the 1950’s and 1960’s when used by Charles Schultz in his popular comic strip.

We are all familiar with the Peanut’s character Charlie Brown, and his woeful exclamation, “Good Grief”. Whether used as a term for amazement, surprise, or astonishment, Charlie often used it as a term of frustration, and we remember Lucy also berating poor Charlie when he inadvertently caused her difficulty. “Good Grief, Charlie Brown!”

This still does not answer the question: How can grief be good? One might find an answer in the Scriptures. In The Message Bible, 2 Corinthians 7, Paul explains the distress, the grief, felt by the community because it cared deeply about Paul, yet they were hurt by the discipline and correction he delivered. Verse 10, chapter 7 delivers this answer from Paul: “Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.” Is THIS why grief can be good?

GRIEF No one wants to experience it, yet all of us will. Grief is the pain we suffer when we lose a love. GRIEF IS REAL. We experience the pain of loss ---- loss of a job, loss of security, loss of a pet, loss of our identity, loss of a dear friend or spouse. We grieve when our children leave the parental home, when we retire, when a divorce occurs, and even as we age, we grieve the loss of our mobility and independence.

CAN GRIEF BE GOOD?? If we all experience the pain of grief at some point in our lives, how can we make it easier? I have facilitated grief groups in the area for nearly fifteen years. The pain of grief is real, there is no getting around that. I have come to learn a few things that are common in the grieving process which can help others.

1. The Christian recognizes that the death of our mortal bodies is not the end of the story. We recognize that Jesus overcame death through his resurrection and that eternal life is possible for the followers of Jesus. At the same time, as humans, we experience the acute pain of loss.
2. Everyone grieves on their own time table and in their own way. At the same time we share many results and symptoms of acute pain.
3. Grieving affects your body as well as your emotions. Eating and sleeping might be disturbed. Some sleep all the time, others cannot sleep. The appetite might be suppressed, food might lose its flavor.
4. Cortisol, the stress hormone, is released which may lessen the immune system.
5. Memory can be temporarily affected.
6. As sadness lifts, anger and guilt may appear.

We need to talk about our loss, yet we often feel we are burdening others with our grief. Some people talk about ‘coming to closure’ or ‘returning to normal’. The truth is, there is no returning to ‘normal’ but there is the realistic goal of returning to a life that is different but okay. There really is no closure, because the memories never go away, nor would we want them to. We can learn to live life again, but in a slightly different way.

Even the toughest, most independent among us will experience the pain of loss. Denying the pain, letting our griefs pile up year after year, is not healthy emotionally or physically.

When you are hurting, when you are in pain, we can be helped by expressing this pain through conversation with others, through art or music, through journaling and through prayer. Tears are a gift and should not be denied. Hiding our pain through isolation or through numbing chemicals or alcohol does only one thing --- it delays our healing and deepens the pain.

There are counselors and pastors in the area who can help. Talking with others who are experiencing the pain of grief can help. The work of grieving IS hard. If you are ready to join with others in the process, you may reach me at 303-910-6699 to find out about a grief group that will begin in September.