In the past week, I’ve talked with a few people—many of them longtime Valley or Carbon County locals—about the issues of bullying. It was even a major topic during the recent community forum with the candidates for Encampment K-12 School principal.
I won’t reveal the names of the people I’ve talked to nor the exact nature of what they spoke with me about. These were personal conversations and the only reason I’m bringing them up is due to a similar comment through most of the conversations. That these people had given up on the community. I found this heartbreaking as I believe there have been some moments where the Platte Valley community has really shone through.
That being said, I had my own experiences with being bullied in school. Whether it was for having moved from the small-town of Bairoil, being proud of the fact that I was born in Germany or just being an easy target. Middle school was difficult and high school certainly wasn’t the “best years of my life” as some have said it should be. Growing up, my parents told me I would be dealing with bullies my entire life. They were right. Now, it’s something I say to my own son and I hate that it has to be said.
While I’m saddened by the people who have told me they’ve given up on the community, I can understand where they are coming from. Every community likes to put on a nice face about how close knit they are, how supportive they are of each other and present themselves as the modern day Mayberry or Mayfield. The truth is that there is no picture-perfect town in black and white though some days I wish there were.
Bullying has been brushed off in the past as “kids being kids” or a way of “building character.” We would probably like to think that, in our past, bullying was innocent enough. Despite the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia through which we often view our past, I don’t think that’s ever been the case. In the present day, I think it can safely be said that bullying is neither “kids being kids” nor a method of character building. Not when there are kids who will either contemplate or follow through with taking their own lives.
In the past, at least there could be a reprieve from the bullying when kids went home from school. Now that we’re connected 24 hours, seven days a week it is nearly impossible for children to escape their tormentors. What began in school carries on into Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok and whatever other social media platforms they use. Social media may be an easy scapegoat—after all, a general rule of thumb on the internet is “never read the comment section”—but different studies have actually shown that social media can be tied to both a lack of empathy and higher empathy.
The truth of the matter is, much like anything else we deal with in our lives, the reasons for bullying vary depending on the person who is the bully. According to healthdirect.gov.au, “Some children who bully may enjoy getting their own way. Others may like conflict and aggression. Some may be thoughtless, rather than deliberately hurtful. Some may have difficulties with health, schoolwork and self-esteem. Some may be emotionally neglected, bullied, abused or be experiencing violence themselves.”
Life is short and it shouldn’t be made even shorter because someone has been bullied into believing they are worthless or better off dead. The eternal optimist in me would like to think that there’s redeeming qualities in everyone, just waiting for a chance to shine through. Here’s that chance. The chance to prove that people shouldn’t give up on this Valley and its community, to go out of your way to make someone’s day better rather than worse.
Maybe, by trying to be better towards others, you’ll find you can be better towards yourself as well.
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