A yardstick of yardwork

Lawn mowing began in stone age times as dinosaurs were strapped to carts to munch on the greenery around stone dwellings.

I know this because I saw it in a documentary called “The Flintstones.”

Okay, I can see how you might not believe my reference there.

Some scientists believe that the need for humans to encircle themselves with turf grass is a trait ingrained from our ancestors. These scholars point to the low turf grasses of Africa which allowed early man to better spy approaching danger or stalk prey.

Lawns gained their status symbol status though with the medieval European aristocracy. Grounds around 16th century English and French castles were kept clear of trees so that protecting soldiers had a clear view of their surroundings. It just wouldn’t be prudent to let enemies sneak to your front gate through surrounding brush or forests.

The word lawn comes from the old French “launde” meaning heath or wooded district. By the 17th century the word had entered the English language and became associated with a mown, grassy area.

These areas were kept cut using grazing animals or peasants with scythes.

Tea or Waste?

Some of these lawns were thought to have been comprised of chamomile or thyme instead of the basically useless lawn grasses we have today. I can see the advantages of being able to cut the grass then make a soothing tea with the clippings.

Many types of grasses are used for lawns. In the northern parts of the United States, fescue and slender grasses of that type are most commonly used. In the south many lawns are comprised of crab grass—a noxious weed in the north.

My grandmother, who lived just north of Dallas, Texas, used to tell the story of a northerner who moved to town. She saw him pulling weeds for quite some time and finally stopped by to ask him what he was doing. When he replied that he was pulling up all that “darned crabgrass,” she chortled and told him, “that’s what we use for grass here.”

She told this story a lot and always had a smile on her face as she told it.

Lawn Therapy

Mowing the lawn is like therapy for me.

Unfortunately, like most therapies, getting started is the hard part.

I will look at my shaggy lawn after a long day of work and go full pro.

Pro-crastination that is.

Generally, after the neighbors wade through the thicket with pitchforks, I decide to be a little more motivated.

I have had lawn mowers over the years that did not want to start either.

Unfortunately, this becomes a man-versus-machine situation where the outcome is usually a strained shoulder for the human in the equation.

Pull hard …

*sputter*

Prime the thing again and … pull hard.

*sputter-sputter*

This goes on several (seems like dozens) times until the thing gets going.

…then dies.

Eventually I would get the thing started … until I didn’t … and had to buy a new mower.

The new one is almost so eager to start I wouldn’t be surprised if it came and got me off the couch.

So now I walk my yard in straight overlapping lines, stopping only occasionally to pick up the stray branch that has fallen or to move the woefully underused bicycle standing beside my house.

Besides the sweating and dust the effort usually kicks up (it is Wyoming after all), I usually find the back and forth walk relaxing.

As I said, I tread back and forth, usually overlapping each pass by half in an effort to ensure a “level playing field.”

When I have finished the task and have put my clipping device away, I often turn around only to see some street smart (yard smart?) dandelion standing there with a smug look on its petals.

Eh.

It looks good for the most part and, if those plants can get by the whirling scythe more than once, they deserve their day in the sun.

Water, Water,

Everywhere

Of course a lot of people water their lawns on a regular basis—so much so that Americans use more water on their lawns than is used to grow all the corn and wheat in the United States combined.

If you measure by water consumption alone, grass is the largest “crop” grown in America.

That chamomile and thyme lawn is looking better and better isn’t it?

I have found that if you water the stuff it just grows faster … so I just don’t do it.

This is probably why my ground cover is mostly low growing weeds.

Eh, I don’t care as long as it looks, at least, acceptably acceptable.

More Mower

With the invention of the lawn mower in 1830, lawn maintenance became a bit simpler—much to the relief of scythe-wielding peasants everywhere.

In 1902 the first gasoline powered lawn mower came along and went through several variations until we have arrived at the sometimes shoulder wrenching appliances we know and, umm, love(?) today.

Related Chores

There are many other things to do to achieve lawnvana (yes, I made that up).

You have to trim your trees and the grass around your house, fence or areas that your mower can’t reach.

You have to tend your garden (if you have one) and cultivate the flowers about your estate.

YOU may have to. I don’t.

I have a weed eater that has dust on it from years of disuse and I don’t generally have the time to garden.

Once again, I go with acceptably acceptable.

“Old Guy” Lawn

I have noticed that retirees generally have the nicer, greener lawn.

I would guess that is because these folks have more resources in both time and money to work on their particular green acres.

Perhaps that comes under the heading of the old saying: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”

But then again, maybe my lawn will join the ranks of “manicured estate” at some point in the future.

Who knows?

In the meantime, here’s wishing your lawn all the best.