The wisdom of children

“I will sail a friendly course, file a friendly chart

On a sea of love and a thankful heart.”

~The Muppet Christmas Carol

I had full intentions of writing a column that looked back on my year here at the Saratoga Sun, but as so often happens, life had other plans. This time, it was my son who provided a subject I couldn’t pass up. In this time of post-Christmas and post-New Year letdown, I hope this column provides something to lift your spirits.

Christmas has come and gone with a flurry of torn wrapping paper, good food and time spent with family and the New Year has begun. January is often a time spent looking back on the year that has passed and looking forward to the year to come. I haven’t often done this, usually just thankful that I’ve survived one year and hoping I will last through the next. This year, however, is different. This year, I think I need to be more like my son and I think we should all follow his lead.

Jareth will be turning five in February and, to be honest, I’m not sure where the time has gone. Since he has come into this world, however, both my wife and I have done what most parents, I assume, do and tried to make sure that he is a well-behaved child.

We’ve known for some time that our little boy has a big heart. It is often evidenced by his empathetic nature when someone, whether friend or family, is in pain either physically or emotionally. We’ve had teachers, and other parents, comment on how wonderful they think Jareth is.

As a parent, this is something you want to hear and is often some great validation.

The weekend before Christmas, my parents took Jareth up to see my dad’s side of the family while Telitha and I stayed here and rushed to get gifts wrapped. Upon their return, my parents told us how well behaved our son was. How he followed the rules of my grandmother’s house by picking up one set of toys before playing with another—even when his cousins didn’t. How he let his cousins help build a small LEGO set my mom bought him. My grandparents even made mention to my parents about what a big heart he had.

It was only on Christmas morning, however, that I came to fully realize how selfless my son was. He was good this year. He only asked for two things from Santa Claus, a Paw Patrol tent and magnetic blocks with holes in them, and he was consistent about it. The jolly old elf went above and beyond, as did we and my parents. There was a sizable pile of gifts with Jareth’s name on them under the tree.

As he helped me disperse the gifts, and he saw how large his pile was, he said something that stuck with me.

“I have too many presents.”

The adults in the room cooed and giggled at his statement. Jareth, however, was quite serious. The next gift I handed him, which was addressed to him, he took over to my dad because “Papa Jerry” didn’t have a gift to open. We told Jareth that his grandfather would have a gift to open and that he had so many gifts because he was very good this year. Once we were all done opening gifts, our son went around and gave everyone hugs and thanked them for the gifts.

That statement, and the following actions, had me thinking throughout the day. All too often, we see viral videos of children who throw an unholy tantrum about not getting exactly what they want for Christmas or their birthday. Our social media feeds are clogged with stories of kids who have been ungrateful for what they have received. Yet, my son was more worried about others when laying eyes upon his pile of presents.

It is far too easy for us to get wrapped up in whatever struggles we are facing in our lives and forget to look around us. Many of these struggles, whether they be finances, work or school, are all too real. More than a small number of us also struggle with anxiety or depression. It can all seem so overwhelming and our minds can slip so easily into the process of negative thinking. I am guilty of all of this.

As I look on this past year, and to the year ahead, I do so through Jareth’s viewpoint.

Of course, my wife and I are doing the best we can to provide for our son, but in his nearly five years of existence we have only ever lived with family. Some people don’t even have that option, though, and many end up falling through the cracks. Neither Telitha nor I are making a whole lot of money, but we are both doing jobs that we enjoy.

My mom told me that I used to be a lot like Jareth, that I was very empathetic and concerned with others. There are times where that is still the case, even with complete strangers. In the past, I have helped people out even when I was struggling with my own problems. There have been other times, however, where I didn’t and I found myself unable to sleep that night.

The world has a way of making us hard, of forcing us to put up our defenses. Despite that, however, I still find myself with a soft heart worn on my sleeve and I am sending my son out in the world with the same trait. Looking around at the state of the world right now, though, maybe that is what is needed: more soft-hearted and kind souls. People who can say “I have too many presents” and want to share their excess with others.

I can tell you this, I will be trying my best to follow my son’s lead. If I have too much, I will share it with others. If I have too many presents, I will give you one to open.

You may disagree with this philosophy. You may think that my son, and I, are too naive and we will be taken advantage of. That may very well happen. It has happened before. This world, however, tries too hard to dull our hearts and put up walls to not fight back with love and kindness.

“No one has ever become poor by giving.”

~ Anne Frank