The positive friend

A person I have known since my second year in high school just had her birthday on Halloween. Okay, actually it is on the 30th, but as often as we celebrated Halloween and her birthday, I often merge the two days.

KC is special to me for many reasons, but there just isn’t the room in this column to share them all.

Still, I have to try.

She is the person that turned me on to one of my favorite all time rock bands. KC made herself the unofficial president of Aerosmith before “Toys in the Attic” came out. She also introduced me to Yes. I have seen both over a half dozen times and, quite often, KC was there.

KC was the first person I ever had to comfort over the loss of a loved one. Her high school boyfriend of a couple years was killed in a car accident. Although she was young, KC carried herself with poise and I couldn’t help but admire her way of dealing with grief.

She bounced back after a period of time and I have so many memories of our senior year where we just had a good time.

After high school, we worked together at a Levi’s store for over four years.

She attended University of Maryland for Party 101. While I was living in the dorms at University of Maryland, she was there almost every weekend. All my college friends loved her. Easy enough to understand. A true blonde who is great looking and a personality that takes no prisoners. Truly anyone who knows KC will say she is fantastic fun.

After I graduated, KC was in my sphere all the time. Her Halloween parties were epic and all my buddies looked forward to being invited. I am amazed how she pulled the best party off every year.

I am not especially fond of the term “best friend” because over the years, I have a few folk that would qualify. However, if I was to say who has been in my life the longest and been one of my strongest allies in life, KC would win the prize.

She was there in my ups and downs in my world of dating. I was there for her too.

A great memory I have is when she got married.

They did a video of everyone toasting the bride and groom. It has never been a secret how close KC and myself are, and when my turn came to speak, I remember her family members saying quietly under their breath, ‘this is going to be good.’

I like to think it was.

She got to return the favor a few years later without the video as she was the matron of honor in my wedding. At that time her job was managing a bridal shop. Thanks to her, we had a well dressed wedding party, plus, for all practical purposes, she was the wedding consultant.

KC was the person I turned to at 2 a.m. in the morning, when I discovered my wife was having an affair with a person I had thought was a close friend. I will never forget her listening to my disbelief my marriage was falling apart. I can’t state strongly enough how crucial it was for me to have this close friend listen to my fears of what the future was going to bring.

Her words of solace brought real relief at that moment.

An even tougher time, KC proved herself to be the extraordinary friend she is to me.

I had just been visiting the east coast for Christmas holidays and was heading back to Hawaii. I was in the St. Louis airport when I heard an announcement for me to pick up the courtesy phone. KC had to tell me my father had just died. That was a trying moment for me, but KC words comforted me and I kept my composure as I dealt with airline authorities to get to Houston.

Let there be no doubt, KC has been an important person in my life.

A True Inspiration

I still haven’t explained how inspiring she is.

Eight and half years ago, KC was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. Stage four means the cancer has spread from where it started to another body organ. This is also called secondary or metastatic cancer. Not very long ago, a stage four colon cancer would be deemed terminal.

KC’s cancer has tried to take her out, with tumors going to her lungs and liver, but as she says, “a lot of good guardian angels have my back.”

From what I can tell, she has an awesome doctor who has never stopped trying different treatments.

When KC first got the cancer, she asked how long she had to live.

Her doctor replied, “How do I know how long you have? We are just going to do everything to get you better.”

KC said her doctor’s attitude has helped her tremendously.

My friend has always used Facebook—much more so than myself— and she has chronicled her journey from day one. For the past eight years plus, she is always putting up positive and uplifting messages even when the news has not always been so good to hear.

An example she sent out a couple weeks ago after she finished a day where KC faced her radiation oncologist, her last cyber knife session on her liver and the medical oncologist. All in one day!

“Your body is capable of some impressive s**t. Admire it. Challenge it.”

Another message that came early October, I find quite inspiring in general.

“If you feel like you are losing everything, remember trees lose their leaves every year, and they still stand tall and wait for better days to come.”

KC is an avid researcher on the internet on what her treatments are expected to do and her knowledge of medicine and drugs is vast.

Given over eight years of many different types of treatments she has taken on, it really isn’t surprising she knows so much and can speak with authority on cancer.

Still, KC knows there is only so much she can learn versus a doctor’s real experience.

Recently, a doctor found a blood clot in her arteries. KC says she wasn’t convinced with the diagnosis since she had been scanned innumerable times and nothing like that was coming up.

“Doctor KC was wrong,” she laughed when she told me they did find a blood clot. “They said they were happy to find it because after the eight years of what I’ve faced in treatments against cancer, they refused to lose me to a heart attack.”

Over the years I have known her, KC has always made me smile with her jokes and personality. I am not surprised she is so upbeat even when doctors don’t have good news. Let’s face it, hearing a treatment is no longer working and another has to be found must be scary; yet KC seldom shows any cracks in her positive outlook facing this disease.

Her longevity and outlook has many cancer patients that are strangers contacting her for words of wisdom and advice.

I know she does say if a doctor is telling you how long you have to live, find another doctor; but most of the time she gives words of encouragement and hope.

Often KC has joked that the reason she is still alive is heaven isn’t ready for her shenanigans. I crack up every time I hear her say that, because I know exactly what shenanigans she is capable of.

She is probably right.

I have said this before and I mean it.

In my world, KC is the very definition of courage.

She is an example of a human being I aspire to be.