Perhaps you remember the little dustup I had featuring my car and a wall a few months ago.
I wrote about the harrowing 14-hour trip I completed and how I later decided to go soak in the hot pool to try and unwind.
I penned (typewrote) the extreme amount of unwinded-ness I achieved when, on the way back to my house, I fainted and used a local establishment’s wall to turn my ride into modern art.
I let you know that the local police and ambulance crews made the experience as pleasant as such a shock can be.
What I haven’t told you yet is what happened after that.
The day after the collision I walked over to my local insurance agent and filed an accident report.
The folks at my agency were pleasant and asked me a few questions. There might have even been a short form involved. Overall, this process too was made relatively painless by my insurance agents.
A few days after this was completed, the owner of the now-dented building stopped by to let me know he had gotten the estimate for repairs.
I gave him my agent’s phone number and a copy of my insurance card and the next time I saw him he said he had received a check.
Pretty good, eh?
Then WYDOT got involved.
You may recall that the Wyoming Department of Transportation, or WYDOT, as they are popularly1 known are the same folks who will no longer let a driver’s license be proof to them that the person on said license is you when you go to renew your now-defunct license.
No, they require scads of paperwork2 to prove that you are who your expired license says you are. And then … and then ... they want your old license so they can poke holes in it because you “can’t have two different licenses”.
That WYDOT.
About six weeks after my car-tistry, I got a letter from WYDOT. The letter explained that since I had lost consciousness and further, that since that loss caused a wreck I would have to go see a doctor and have them fill out a form (enclosed) saying that:
A.) This whole thing was a one-off and he/she is good to go3;
B.) The patient’s condition is now controlled by medicine;
C.) The patient should have the following restrictions4 placed on his/her license, or (and these are the ones that scare you);
D through H.) This patient needs to go through just a huge crapload more testing (various different types) to make sure they won’t kill someone.
I am sure you are thinking to yourselves “that seems like a reasonable enough thing to ask”, and I agree. I don’t want folks who are passing out, having seizures or just generally freaking out behind the wheel of a vehicle either. This seemed a rather logical step to come from WYDOT. How weird is that?
So off I go to the doctor.
After explaining the accident to my physician5, she determined that my consciousness drop-out was of the one-off variety and filled the form to indicate that conclusion.
While there though, the doctor did uncover some highs in the cholesterol and blood pressure department. She prescribed some medicine for these conditions and the upshot is that I will likely be around to complain about the “wheels of bureaucracy” for some while longer.
About 10 minutes after making a copy for my records, the medical clearance form was whizzing its way back to WYDOT HQ.
All done.
Pretty easy.
Even had some positives.
Then, about three weeks later, I get another letter from WYDOT central command.
This one had “piss Keith off” written all over it.
Apparently, “ The Wyoming Department of Transportation has received the investigating officers report … indicating that (I) was the driver … of a motor vehicle involved in an accident … (with) damage to an extent of $1,000 or more …”6.
The letter went on to explain (not clearly) that although they had a wealth of data on this accident that they were unable to verify if I did, in fact, have insurance, the means to make restitution, a notarized release from the other party or a notarized conditional release of liability.
Now, I clearly remember trudging through the snow in my hot pool slippers to get my insurance card from my poor little car to show to the investigating officer.
WYDOT obviously got all kinds of information from the accident report. Somehow they must have overlooked the “has insurance” box checked on the report.
WYDOT went on to threaten to suspend my license if I didn’t send them:
A.) A verified (bold type theirs) SR-21 form indicating I had insurance at the time of the accident. This form must be completed in full and verified by your insurance agency;7
B.) Submit security in the form of a certified check, surety bond, or certificate of deposit duly assigned to the Department in the amount of $2,000;
C.) Submit a notarized release from the other party,8 or;
D.) Submit a notarized conditional release from the other party.
WYDOT then went on for five more paragraphs to tell me the hoops I would have to go through to get my license back if I didn’t get this taken care of.
Crap.
So I trudge over to my local insurance office where I am bemusedly informed that “we’ve never seen one of these letters before”.
Oh, goody.
The agents then reassure me that “we’ll get it taken care of though”.
After a phone call to the home insurance office, my agent informs me that “they’ve never heard of a SR-21 either”.
After a few minutes, the agent asks if she can look into this and give me a call back.
I head home to eat lunch.
When I get back to the office I have a message from my insurance agent.
I call her back and am told that she has downloaded the proper form and even filled it out for me. She also informs me that if I could pop by and sign it, that she would fax it off to WYDOT for me since that’s the only way they take the form.
I stop by and sign the form. She faxes it off and gives me a copy.
Great.
All done.
Back at the office, I begin to write this column.9
The phone rings. It’s my insurance agent.
“Could you bring your registration for that vehicle by? Apparently the VIN numbers are different on the accident report and the form we just sent in.”
I find my registration and make my way back to the insurance agency which is, thankfully, only about two blocks away.
Everything seems to be taken care of and I finally get to start this article.
Am I mad at WYDOT? No, not really. I am sure that everyone on their end was just as pleasant to deal with as my insurance agents were. The only difference is that DOTTY employees have to labor under strict rules made to take into account the absolute stupidest things that can (and do) happen.
How mad can I be anyway? I got two whole stories, medicine I needed and a cool scar out of the deal.
Hopefully, you got a laugh or two too.10
1. Or “unpopularly” known as. Your pick.
2. Birth certificate, proof of residence, proof of insurance, phlegm sample from your second grade teacher and more.
3. It didn’t actually say it in exactly that way oddly enough.
4. There were just loads of different restriction types. You want to see, get in your own wreck.
5. … and having some blood siphoned off along with other standard poking and prodding.
6. I trimmed down the legalese for you. Those dots; legal crap that no one besides lawyers need.
7. Again, this was much, much longer than the two sentences I just wrote.
8. Seriously, these were really long and involved.
9. Thank my dad for the larger print on the footnotes. He called and told me how much he liked my “football” column and when I asked if he liked the footnotes he said he didn’t read them because he didn’t have his magnifying glass.
10. I just wanted to two too.
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